Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
