Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
