420 ftw
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
