He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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