Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
