all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
