Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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