I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
