By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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