Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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