My friends, they love my intelligence
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Boobs speak an international language.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
