I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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