I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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