He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize