Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
