is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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