So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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