Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
