i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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