i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
