once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
