I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
