I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
