Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
