I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
