The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
