Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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