And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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