there's paper in my vomit.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
