Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
