I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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