Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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