Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
