After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
