the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
