Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
