Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
