Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize