I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
