he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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