your thong is hanging out like whoa
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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