I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
