You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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