my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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