If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
