Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
