Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
