Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
