id be glad to
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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