I'm going to jail i love you
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't think brook has ever known best
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
