What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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