Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
