Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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