no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
