evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
