we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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