I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize